Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
