There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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