Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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