totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
