u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
