come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize