Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
