My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
