blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Houston, we have a blender
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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