Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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