Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
