he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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