he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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