i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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