I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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