My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
