Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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