Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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