HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
