whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Say something about gay babies.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
