I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
