I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
