I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
