plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
