my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
