somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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