we have officially mastered the walk of shame
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
