We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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