thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name