After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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