did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
you had me at cake vodka
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him