got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic