i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
