I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize