he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will pee on everything he values.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
