I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
