I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm always down for nudity.
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