Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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