I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
