Who did Billy Mays play for?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
