Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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