dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
