hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
