My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
