i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
