I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
