I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
