Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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