I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
