You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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