Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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