you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
