she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
