go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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