hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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