If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
