Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
