And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
