I've blown a few things in my day
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
