What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
