Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
