I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
